jail, the final frontier. So, I'm going on unemployment. Unemployment, Carlo Rossi, and a whole shitload of push-ups. Deprivation of the things I like most, drugs and eating. Whenever I want to eat something, in my mind, everything equates in Carlo Rossi bottles. That's like half a bottle of Carlo Rossi! Whenever I crave morphine, Jesus fucking Christ! that's like 10 Carlo Rossi bottles! holy shit! So, I finally did my taxes. It's the first time in my life I've claimed a dependent, and the first time I made over 30,000. 36,000. too bad I didn't save any of it. What the hell did I do with 36,000 dollars?!?!? Please somebody tell me. I was claiming 3 dependents. All of my dependence. "I have three people's worth of dependence!" I plan to claim. God Damn, this fucking blog gets goofier by the sentence. Salton motherfucking Sea this weekend! Team Salmonella lives on! so, I did my taxes with a neighbor. He was wondering what the deal is with my last name. I told him it was Russian, I'm from Argentina from a family descended from Russians, so he kept talking to me in Russian. I don't know a single word in Russian. nyet? nine? I didn't know what in the fuck he was talking about. I know English and semi-OK Spanish and some ASL. I didn't understand what in the fucking hell he was talking about. Then, he started talking about his ex-wife. Apparently, she lives a couple of doors down from me and gives excellent blowjobs. I wasn't quite sure why that would concern me. She's like 60 years old. So, I'm going on unemployment and they're making me go look for work. How come they don't do that to anybody else I know? I'm going to apply at every single stripper clothes store on Hollywood Blvd. I know they won't hire me, but if they did, that would be cool anyway. If I was a woman, I would dress so fucking ridiculously. God was doing the world a favor by having me born a man. God? What in the fucking hell am I talking about? I mean, just the fact that I don't even know how to refer to those stores. "stripper clothes store" I'm pretty sure there's another name. Do they hire heterosexual guys to work in those stores? Hopefully not. I just want to sit around in my apartment drinking Carlo Rossi, and doing push-ups, and working on my dumb book, and reading Doctor Who books of course. My TV broke which is actually a blessing. I got a whole shitload of Doctor Who books and Carlo Rossi bottles to catch up on.