so me and Dom were sitting in here in Oakland listening to the Bart go by over and over screaming and yelling. and Susie's next door neighbor comes in here telling us to keep it down. She said she had a headache. I have the perfect remedy for that. Unfortunately, it involves my genitalia. It's really true what they.say about it. It's freezing. It's cold to the bone. The Bay Area, not my genitalia. Well, sometimes both. It probably wouldn't be worth it for her anyway because other part of her body would end up hurting even worse than her head hurt in the first place. So, I managed to shit myself upon first arriving. Than, I ate shit so many times. At some point, I was drenched in my own blood. I'm not quite sure whether they'll let me on the plane. people keep on looking at me on the street and they laugh hysterically. Despite what they may've believed, I'm not here for their amusement. There's a sleeping cat next to me snoring. I didn't know cats snored. It was concerned about me because I was laying on the floor. I had no idea cats were capable of being concerned. That was my god damn daughter in there. So, I packed like a god damn diva, and I'm still wearing the same clothes from Thursday night. Feces included. I miss LA, I miss the way it assasinates my libido. I miss the way it prevents the writing of dumb blogs. so, you're never going to believe this, but my landlady wanted me to change my answering machine message. because I'm cussing on it. I'm so polite to her, I'm surprised she doesn't just throw the fuck up everytime she sees me walking down the hall. We get competitve trying to see who can nauseate the other worse. I think I'm winning. I over-pay my rent a month in advance. It makes me shudder to think all the gross shit that has occured in my apartment. Both with me living in there and before. I wonder how many people have died in there. Now, the cat's purring. I'm not even touching it. It's just sitting there purring. susie last night was trying to get me to admit all the awful shit I've done. It's not happening. I'll admit it's bad, but no details. I had to completely reinvent my moral fiber. and then I shat myself. I still smell like it. Please stop me. i can't control myself. Just stop reading this then. That's the least you can do. This place, you ring this doorbell, and people let you in. There's a ping pong table in there.