I have recently stopped speaking Spanish. It was only a matter of time after moving to LA. In case you don't know, I'm white and latino. I'm from Argentina, born there, raised in Texas since the age of three months old. I always refused to speak Spanish for some bizarre and shameful reason. My mom always wanted me to speak Spanish though, and at the age of 15, she arranged for me to stay with this Cuban family in Chilpancingo, a tiny city in the state of Guerrero, for two months. I instantly totally fell in love with Mexico and its people. I continued going back and forth, often for months at a time. I lived in Tijuana for 6 months. Anyway, I kind of settled down with full time jobs and all that, and I don't really get opportunities to go anymore. I've probably spent over two years of my life in Mexico. So, I can speak Spanish. I can say that with confidence. I'm not fluent, but I can speak spanish a hell of a lot better than a lot of people in this town can speak English, and yet they insist on speaking English to me, and I used to ignore it, and just keep on speaking Spanish because I like to, and I like to stay in practice, otherwise I get rusty, but recently, I've completely given up because I am so fucking sick of the attitudes that hispanic people have in this city. And correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems as though the attitude comes mostly from people from El Salvador. Allow me to explain my theory of the difference between people from Mexico and people from El Salvador, at least how it pertains to their general behavior in the U.S. And let me remind you, nothing I write is written in stone. If I'm saying anything that sounds ignorant or bigoted or whatever, let me know. Mexicans don't consider themselves to be foreigners in the U.S. This is for many reasons, one being that the land we are on used to be part of Mexico. Also, maybe because there's so many of them. They've been part of the CA and TX landscape for centuries. People from El Salvador, on the other hand, definitely feel like foreigners. They just won't let it go. I'm not sure of the history of immigration from El Salvador, but I'm geussing that maybe they didn't start moving here in such large numbers until the fascist fucked up death squads in the seventies and eighties started. Anyway, yeah I know, I should have my facts straight, but I'm wired on coffee, and I'm supposed to be working on my book right now, so I just wanted to spit this out. So, not only do people from El Salvador feel like foreigners, on top of that, they think they're the only ones. They refuse to acknowledge the fact that this whole entire country is made of almost entirely of foreigners. In their weird, warped little minds, they somehow have drawn the conclusion that people with pink skin (caucasians) are native to this land. And furthermore, they think that Spanish is a language that comes from brown people. Last time, I checked, the Spanish created the Spanish language, and last time I checked, Spain is in Europe, and I'm no expert on Europe or anything, but aren't people from Europe white? And hasn't every single last person I have ever met from Spain been white? I know there's some mixes with the mores and all that, so they have kind of olive colored skin, kind of like the Italians or the greeks, but greeks and italians are white, no matter which way you slice it. Yeah, and I know there are a lot of people from Latin America, even really brown countries (like Mexico), that are white, but they wouldn't use that word, white. They would say guero or something like that, but thing is is that those are the rich people, and they wouldn't be hanging out in Koreatown at the cheap grocery store buying lentils, potatoes, and cauliflower. I wait in line at the store, and every single person in line gets a nice friendly warm, "Buenos Dias! Como esta hoy?" and then it gets to me, and I get an ice cold, "Good morning, sir." with this accent that screams that she's not even trying to speak English properly, or to even change her fucking accent. They speak English in the exact same way that they speak Spanish because to try to speak English would be conforming to gringo culture, and I am their daily interaction with gringo culture, so they must patronize me and call me sir. It's funny to think about it. I have a lot of friends (such as my girlfriend) that have brown skin and don't know a lick of Spanish. They get spoken to in Spanish all the time and they don't what the fuck is going on. I think the main thing I hate is people being presumptious. And whatever, call me on my shit if you ever catch me being presumptious. Go right ahead. That's what friends are for. Being presumptious is the product of a robotic mind, and boy let me tell you, the neighborhood I live in (BEV and NORM) has so many robots I feel like I'm in a fucking science fiction movie. The other day, I was tellng my mother about this whole thing (who is white and grew up in Chile), and she said, "But, Tomatoes, you don't look Spanish." My jaw dropped because my mom is one of the most left wing people I've known in my entire life, and to hear her say such a thing, made me really sad. I think she's going senile. So let me get this straight: 1) don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever use the word "Spanish" to refer to someone from Latinamerica. Spanish means from Spain, and being from Spain and being from Latinamerica are two completely different things. If you want to use expressions like that, you might as well, move to Kentucky and learn how to play a whiskey jug. You can say "Spanish-speaking" that's fine. 2) This one's really important, so pay attention. don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever use the word "American" when referring to the United States. In the future, this word will be just as taboo as saying, "nigger". It reflects such an awful attitude of self importance, and just a total lack of respect for the rest of America. Everything from Canada (not that they deserve any respect, but let's at least pretend, all right?) to Argentina counts as America. Don't be an asshole. 3) Don't use the word Indian to refer to people indigenous to this land. I know this one can be tricky. What else are you supposed to call those casinos? And what are you supposed to call the people?, "People indigenous to his Land"? That sounds kind of stupid too, huh? Scratch this rule. I just wanted to point out how sad it makes me that whenever somebody uses the word, "Indian", they have to specify which Indians they're talking about, the real actual Indians, or the fake ones. 4) don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever make fun of hillbillies from Kentucky. I know everybody else does, but still. Leave those people alone. It's too easy of a target. And furthermore, another thing that I think tips people off to the fact that I'm really not latino, is that I'm weird. It seems as though people are pretty homogenous in Latinamerica. You know, you may've noticed right up above, that I said I'm not latino, and it's true I'm finally admitting it for the first time in my life. Yes, it's true. If being "latino" means that you center your whole entire identity on eating pupusies and being from El Salvador, and proudly speaking some language that was taught to your people by Spanish rapists, than I am not latino. English is not a race. Spanish is not a race. They are simply languages that got spread by imperialists hundreds of years ago. I am so, so, so much more than a person from Argentina who grew up in Texas. I AM NOT WHITE! I AM NOT LATINO! I AM FUCKING TOMATOES AND FUCK ALL YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!