OK, so, you're probably going to get a kick out of this blog. It cracks me up how much I question my own beliefs. I guess it's a healthy habit to do that, but I don't know, . . . . ha ha! here I go again!! So, anyway, this first part is something I wrote a while ago, and it regained its relevancy because my stallmate at work has been listening to this evangelical screeching about Jesus in Spanish and its been both driving me up the wall and entertaining me at the same time. It's entertaining to me because god doesn't exist. He just doesn't, I'm sorry. I guess it's a nice idea and it brings people comfort to believe in that, but GOD DOESN'T EXIST AND THERE'S NO WAY YOU COULD EVER PROVE THAT HE DOES!!! So, you're making yourself look really preposterous passionately going on and on about something imaginary. You see, maybe I would feel differently if either of my parents believed in god. I have this theory that if you were raised with parents telling you god exists, than somewhere deep inside of you, you actually believe it too. You have the potential or rather I should say the threat of becoming a christian yourself. If I had christian parents, maybe the idea would seem more plausible to me, but now with the way that I was raised, you would have more luck convincing me that Santa Claus existed. In fact, now that I think about it, Santa Claus seems to me very symbolic of the whole entire religion. It's like a mini-Jesus. This mythological thing that's going to reward you for behaving yourself when the whole act of behaving yourself should be the reward in itself. I'm also reading this book about torture methods throughout history which is also amusing since half the time they would use Jesus as a reason to torture people which is so bizarre, I don't even know where to begin. So, I could rant and rave about how much I hate Christianity until we all turned blue in the face, so instead of going on forever about how much I hate it, I thought I would try to understand why it is that I hate it instead. Is that convoluted? oh geez (not short for Jesus, mind you) But first, here's this thing that I wrote right after my last visit to Texas [now, two visits ago. It's taking me a while to put out this blog entry], my sacred homeland, ha ha, just kidding again, geez, I'm a nerd! : I've been wanting to write a blog entry about how much I hate christianity and christians, but now it looks like it's never going to happen. You wanna know why? Well, one of my friends on MySpace and Friendster is also my roommate and friend here in LA and for a while, I've been sensing a really funny attitude from her and whether or not it's actually for real or I'm just imagining it, it still started a chain of thought with me. You see, she's a christian. She goes to church and shit, and I think she might've read the negative shit I've already written about christianity in my blogs. I'm not going to go back and erase it or anything, but I think the reason that it was easy to write all of that hateful shit was because I don't know any of these christians personally. Well, maybe I know a few, but I definitely hate them, but her, I like, so for her, I ignore the fact that she's christian. That's how I'm able to spout all of that hateful shit. So, I always have this fantasy: It would be cool if there was a button I could press, and every single Christian on the face of the planet just drops dead, and there would be another button that I could press and it would clean up all of the mess because damn those rotting christian bodies would probably start stinking to high heaven and I don't want to stand around and dig ditches in the hot sun forever, you know? But, wait, hold on a second, Hitler probably would've liked something like that for Jews. So, looking deeper and deeper into myself, I realize that I have the potential to participate in genocide if I was ever given the opportunity. I always looked at genocide and massacres with a real befuddled perspective. You know, shit like the Rwanda Massacre and the Rape of Nan king, I looked at that shit and wondered to myself, "How could one human being do something that terrible to another?' but then I go over some of the shit I've written, and I'm suggesting we do the same thing to poets and christians. Maybe I'm easily influenced by a lot of the music I listen to because a lot of it preaches the same message. It also reminds me of the cliche catch phrase that you always hear racists say. They say, "I only hate niggers and there's a difference between black people and niggers. Not all black people are niggers. Even some white people are niggers" I don't know if you've ever heard anybody say anything like this, but it's pretty unbelievable because it makes it so obvious how far into denial they are. They are the ultimate of racism. [sic] And I'm a little bit the same way with me when I talk shit about things. I say,"I hate San Diego. I hate poetry. I hate christians. I hate subculture stereotypes." But then, if I know anybody who has any of these traits, all of a sudden, they have amnesty from my judgments. So, generally, I hate christianity because to me it just represents our society as a whole and how it preaches one thing and than practices something completely opposite. Also, herd mentality and sexual perversion. You know? the bad kind of perversion like rape and child molestation. Also, really, somehow they've managed to make a lot of people who just practice normal human sex feel like perverts while priests are fucking altar boys and buying prostitutes and shit. What the fuck? That's some backwards ass shit is all I'm saying. Don't you agree? How could you not? And then, once it's exposed, nobody even pays attention. It's a good example of selective attention. People are gonna believe whatever they want. The truth does not set you free because people just ignore it. That's why I don't care much about political activism. It seems pointless since the truth is already right in front of people's faces. They're just ignoring it. You know the whole Catholic priest molestation issue? Well, here's my theory: Only about one in ten cases of child sex abuse goes reported; possibly even less, so when trying to realistically consider the whole Catholic Church scandal, we should multiply the number of child molestation cases by at least ten, if not more. So, I don't know the exact numbers, and I don't have the patience to actually do the research, but I do know one thing: that's a whole lot of little boys that got their heads permanently fucked up for the rest of their lives just so some sick old pervert could get his rocks off. And it's no coincidence that this is happening specifically with the Catholic Church. It's an epidemic, and I'm sure it still continues. What is the link between Catholicism and child molestation? I don't know exactly, but it's some pretty solid evidence that that religion is fucked and everyone should ignore it, but still, they don't. And that's another thing: what in the hell is child molestation? I don't get it. What is it exactly that's going on? Do they just touch the boys' dicks or make them give them blowjobs, or fuck them in their asses or what? At what point does it cease to be molestation and become rape? Is molestation just a euphemism or is it to distinguish that it wasn't a violent act? Do they just coerce the child into sex and that's why it's molestation rather than rape? But if that were the case, what's the deal with statutory rape? They call it statutory rape even if it's totally consensual, and the underage person completely enjoyed it and everything, it's still "rape" because she was underage. When I was in high school, my girlfriend was raped violently by a stranger. To date, it was the most tragic event I've ever experienced, and I could write a whole blog entry on just that, but I'm just bringing it up briefly to mention that the police caught the guy, and he was convicted and had to go to prison, but the "crime" that he was convicted of was statutory rape. It was as if they were having completely consensual sex and the only thing illegal that was going was that she was under eighteen. I guess the point that I'm trying to say when mentioning that, is that the legal system is completely fucked up when it comes to sex crimes, and I'm sure that there is a definite link between this and the fact that we live in a christian society. Because Christianity shapes our morality which in turn shapes the way the laws are set up. So, anyway, this whole Christianity Blog is really long, so I'm cutting it in half right here. Part Two just needs a few more paragraphs and then to be edited. It's pretty good: some amusing anecdotes from my childhood concerning christianity. And I finally make a conclusion about whether or not I would press the christianity genocide button.