In case you didn't know, I rode my bicycle to San Diego a while ago. I really took my time doing it. It was extremely fun. That's a whole separate blog though. I wrote this along the way, at a liquor store nearby camp in Encinitas: "Whoa, those women were looking at me. They probably want to hang out and get drunk and have sex with me. Whoa check out the white one with dark hair and green eyes. She really likes me." "Tomatoes, first of all, this is North San Diego County. Everybody's white. Second of all, the only reason they're looking at you is because they're wondering if you're a bum or what." "That's not true. I'm very handsome. And I'm intriguing. Yeah, that's right. I'm a heartthrob." "Oh, yeah right. You're funny looking and you know it. Remember a week ago, when you tried to kiss that woman at the park and even though she was giving you all the signs that she liked you but she still wouldn't kiss you?" "Well, yeah, I vaguely remember that. We were on the swing set. It was three in the morning. She was looking deep into my eyes like she wanted to devour me. But, then she wouldn't kiss me. Maybe because I'm a drunk or a slob or a loser or my band's not cool enough or any reason. Who even cares anyway?" "Well, sure, that's all good and fine, but if you were good looking enough, she would've kissed you anyway." "Mmmm, hmmm." "How much for this 24 oz. Icehouse?" "1 sixty-one, out the door," the foreign cashier tells me. I pay and put the beer in my bag. As I mount my bicycle, I catch another glimpse of these women. They were still looking at me and grinning from ear to ear. "You see, you see, you see! They were saying to each other, 'Wow, who's that sexy guy? Maybe he'ld want to sleep with us in our tent tonight.'" "No, no, no, no, no Tomatoes. You have it all wrong. They're saying to each other, 'Ough, gross. what's wrong with him? It looks like he's been rolling around in dirt and there's a big hole in the crotch of his pants.'" "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!! How many times do I have to tell you? I'm a trend setter!! Five years from now, everyone will be going around with big holes in the crotches of their pants. It's like how black guys started wearing their pants extremely low. Somebody had to be the 1st to start that." "Yeah, whatever you're a fucking scuzbag. Go take a bath." "Just for that, I'm not sharing this beer with you, so there." "Too bad, you have no choice."